My Boyfriend is Going to Kill me
by lily22
Summary: Yaoi (R/M), FLUFF, OOC-ness. It's spring. For most, this means longer days and an end to winter. For Ryou, it means impossible allergies and an overprotective boyfriend...


My Boyfriend is Going to Kill Me

A/N: This was written under duress. My friend has an unhealthy obsession with fluffy Malik/Ryou fics, and, unfortunately, I was on the receiving end of one of her rants on the dearth of them on ff.net. So, to shut her up, I wrote this. You better appreciate this, 'rene-chan.

Warnings: Shounen-ai, fluff, WAFF, OOC, tissues...

~*~

Ryou hated allergies. 

They always started at the beginning of every spring, just when the flowers were at their loveliest. In his more cynical moments, he reflected that it was almost as if whatever higher power existed (*sneeze*) was intent on refusing him the chance to enjoy flowers at all. Some people tried medicines to control allergies; Ryou seemed to have some sort of inborn immunity to every single allergy medication that existed and several that didn't. Yet, paradoxically, he possessed a deep love for flowers and plants in general. It was pollen he detested. So, it was with feelings of mixed loathing and delight that he looked forward to the season of spring each year. He checked the pollen count for each day with bated breath, hoping, no, praying that it would be low, that he would be able to go through the day without sneezing every two minutes. 

Today was not his lucky day.

"Achoo!" Several students stopped their conversations to stare at him as an explosive sneeze rocked his entire frame, causing his entire desk to move. In quick succession, he sneezed about five more times. It was several minutes before the violent spasms brought on by the sneezes finally started to subside. Yuugi wordlessly handed him a tissue in tacit sympathy and then dropped several more on his desk. 

"Just in case." He whispered. "It's a good thing class is practically over. I hope you feel better by Monday."

"Fanks, 'oogi." Ryou blew his nose on the tissue loudly, attracting the attention of the rest of the class. 

"Allergies hit you really bad, don't they?" Jounouchi smiled understandingly. "I know how you feel. You've tried those medicines, right?"

"Yeah." The other boy managed to get out before he sneezed again. Luckily, Jou understood that the one word answered all of his questions; Ryou didn't think he'd be able to get out many more. Well, not many more in a string and it's extremely hard to understand someone who sneezes at just about every other word. He glanced over at Malik, who was sitting just a few seats away, watching him intently with an extremely worried expression. Even taking into account the general overreactiveness of Malik, his expression was more than allergies (and the fact that it was his boyfriend being affected) could account for. Hopefully, Malik had realized (or could be made to realize) that allergies weren't life-threatening in the same way that the measles or chicken pox could be. However, concerning Ryou's general well being, Malik could (and would) go completely overboard, blowing the situation completely out of proportion.

Smiling slightly, Ryou leaned back in his chair, taking advantage of the momentary respite from sneezing. During the winter, if Ryou had so much as coughed uncomfortably, Malik would immediately focus his complete and undivided attention on him, confining him to bed, propping up pillows, carrying his books, cooking for him. It was… unnerving, to say the least. Ryou had a strong sense of justice and being pampered for an imagined sickness was _not _justified. If that attitude continued into the spring for simple _allergies_… Feeling another sneeze coming, Ryou sat up straight and tried to relax before…

"Achoo!" This sneeze caused him to jump out of his chair, shivering slightly. Again, the other students in his class looked at him. That is, until Malik glared at them collectively. It was amazing how quickly they turned around after that. Glancing at the clock, Ryou took one of the other tissues left for him by Yuugi, who had, it seemed, a sixth sense about what his friends needed. _'It's almost time to go, thank goodness. I feel so guilty about interrupting class. Good thing Nakata-sensei is sympathetic.'_ He spared a glance for said teacher, who was grading papers at the front desk now that the lesson was over and homework had been assigned.

"Achoo!" He took another peek at Malik, who was looking more and more anxious for him with each sneeze. What really irked Ryou about his sneezes, (even more than his boyfriend's over protectiveness) was that they tended to be violent. Most people sneeze somewhat quietly or, at least, with less intensity than his tended to have. A bomb exploded with (it seemed) less noise than he sneezed; his sneezes were huge and often came out in groups rather than individually. They also had the added effect of spasms or shaking, which made them seem much more serious than a simple allergic reaction. Well, at least Malik seemed to think so.

His next sneeze coincided with the bell that dismissed the students. During the stampede that followed any dismissal from class on a Saturday, he started gathering his books in preparation to leaving the classroom; Yuugi dropped off a packet of tissues before departing. Grinning, Ryou just managed to utter a 'Thanks!' before he was cut off by another sneeze. He took out a tissue and blew his nose before turning around to pick up his books, only to be faced with his boyfriend's worried expression. He reached for his school things, but Malik was already holding them. Looking at Ryou in a manner that reminded him distinctly of a mother hen, Malik jerked his head in the direction of the door. 

Malik escorted him to his locker, refusing to leave even when Ryou insisted that he go to his own. He would probably have skipped going to his own locker had Ryou not put his foot down on the matter, pointing out, between sneezes, that Malik had to continue doing his own work in order to maintain the grade he needed to continue going to school. Faced with that logic, Malik had to acquiesce. Still, while the other boy was getting his own things together, Ryou couldn't help musing (between sneezes) that Malik was less worried about his grade than continuing to go to the same school as Ryou. This was insane. How was he supposed to deal with this? Unbearable allergies and an overprotective boyfriend were not things that could be taken safely in combination. 

~*~

He found out later that afternoon, at home in the living room, just how intolerable the combination could be.

"I told you, Malik-kun! I'm fine! It's just…Achoo!" Ryou sniffled slightly. "Really! It's not like I'm going to…d…Achoo!" He flopped back onto the cushions of his sofa in frustration.

"Die?" The other boy raised an eyebrow inquisitively. "It really doesn't sound like just allergies to me. Are you sure you're not coming down with something?" Keeping his balance perfectly, he leaned down and reached out a hand to take Ryou's temperature. His hand was cool, and the lower temperature calmed Ryou down somewhat. That, or Ryou was simply reveling in the contact. Considering Ryou's irritated mood, the former seemed the more likely.

"See? No fever! I'm…f…Achoo!" Even while shaking Malik's hand off his forehead, he took the tissue that was offered him. Perhaps 'grabbed' would be a better term. It was a bit _too _mild to describe his sudden aggressive motion as 'taking.' Since he was blowing his nose loudly (in a weak attempt to dissuade the Egyptian from the line of thought the allergies were taking him), he was surprised when the other boy dropped onto the couch beside him, looking deep in thought. Ryou gaped at him. "What are you…?"

"I got it!" As he was still staring at him with a stunned expression, Ryou jumped (and sneezed) when the other boy flew off the couch in a rather insane manner (having sat still for a new record of fifty seconds), dancing around the room happily. Shock tended to make Ryou sarcastic, as was evident in his next words.

"And, what, pray tell, have you got?" Unfortunately, the effect was ruined by a sneeze, but, considering the current situation, his message probably would not have gotten across even had Ryou been at his most sarcastic and allergy-free best.

"Besides the handsomest boyfriend in the world, you mean?" Malik asked facetiously, winking at Ryou in a decidedly flirtatious manner.

"Ma…ah…Achoo! Malik!" Wiping his nose, Ryou picked up a pillow with his free hand and tossed it at the boy laughing at him across the room. Having naturally good aim, even with the allergies, the pillow hit Malik square on, effectively muffling his laughter. For a few seconds. Then, surrendering itself to the rules of gravity, the pillow fell to the floor, having done its purpose in halting Malik's mirth. "Stop teasing." Ryou said crossly when the boy's face appeared once again. This time, he had succeeded in getting his point across. Or, rather, in knocking it forcibly into Malik's brain. Literally. Same difference. "What did you get?"

"You're actually sick and you're trying to pass it off as allergies," Malik stated matter-of-factly, ostensibly oblivious to the fact that Ryou was in a state of glowingly good health (if you ignored his nose; it was somewhat red from the constant scratching of the tissues).

Ryou was doing an excellent impression of a landed fish. To Ryou's continuous, recurrent and almost constant regret for almost a week to come, Malik seemed to take that expression as affirmation. 

"Nice try, Ryou-kun. We're getting you up to bed and you're not stepping out until you're better." He gently but firmly swept Ryou up in his arms and started up the stairs.

"But that could take all spring!" was all Ryou managed to get out, ending in a stifled sneeze that almost made him choke. This particular comment being somewhat vague and open to interpretation, it simply seemed to strengthen Malik's resolve to stay by Ryou's side until he was well again (as he obviously interpreted the comment the _wrong _way), even if it took the remainder of his life. 

~*~

It was when Ryou woke up in his bed, neatly tucked in, with a tray of breakfast waiting for him that he started to worry. Sitting up and looking around, he noticed several interesting facts. One, the room was spotless. Not being a typical teenager, this was not strange but for the fact that he hadn't been the one who cleaned it. Two, the window was open, allowing a slight breeze to waft over his bed, bringing in fresh air (and pollen) from outside. Usually, Malik's 'nursing fits' lasted until Ryou could get through to him (read: beat him over the head with it). This one looked like it could be going on for a…long…

"Achoo!" He sneezed. Then, settling back in again, he heard pounding sounds that seemed to be getting progressively louder, indicating that someone was using the stairs. Bursting into his room out of breath, Malik immediately started fussing over him, making him lie back down, bringing the breakfast tray over, fluffing pillows, exclaiming over the open window and slamming it closed, smoothing the covers…

…time. 

"Ne, Malik-kun…" Ryou murmured softly, hoping to get his attention without having to scream. His throat hurt after an entire night of 'nasal drip.' (It's when the mucus in your nose drips down your throat. The nose and mouth are connected, which is what makes such a disgusting medical concept possible. It's horrible! I hate it.) Luckily for him (or unluckily, depending on the point of view), Malik was attuned to even the slightest sound from him and caught it immediately.

"Yes…?" He asked, anxious to help. "Do you need something? Tea, water, more blankets, anything?" 

Hoping that he hadn't slept any longer than usual (as was wont to happen when he was so congested), Ryou simply asked, "What day is it?" 

"Sunday." Reassured by this statement (it meant that he wasn't missing school), Ryou tried to get out of bed. "No. Get back in there. I said you weren't leaving until you were better and I meant it!" With one hand on Ryou's chest, Malik pushed him back down into the nest of pillows and blankets.

"Malik-kun!" Ryou protested, struggling to sit up, regardless of Malik's hand. "I'm fine! Let me get up! I have homework, I need to clean the house and I'm perfectly fine! I told you already! It's just allergies! Why are you freaking out about it?"

"Ryou, you don't have to pretend. I know you aren't feeling well…Just admit it."

The expression on Ryou's face could be equated with the reaction of someone who had just been smacked over the head with a two by four. Finally managing to school his expression into something less incredulous and much angrier, Ryou said slowly, with a dangerously low volume, "You're impossible." Raising his voice to a volume suitable for directing traffic (or high-school teenagers), he reiterated. "You are impossible! How many times do I have to tell you? I am perfectly fine and except for…Achoo!" Malik made as if to hand him a tissue, but Ryou waved him away, his voice in no way diminished, "Except for my allergies, my health could not be better and I do _not_ need to stay in bed!" Ryou paused then, noticing that the other had opened his mouth to speak. For a moment, he thought that the message might have gotten through to Malik. This hope, however, was shattered by his actual words:

"Are you delirious? You must be worse than I thought! I'll be right back!" At which point the boy ran out of the room, presumably to get more in the way of "cures."

_'My boyfriend is going to kill me.'_

~*~

It was with great difficulty that Ryou managed to get Malik to 'allow' him to go to school. Even at school, the other boy refused to leave his side, carrying his books for him, helping him open his locker, writing down the homework for him, getting him trays at lunch... In short, he was so completely and faultlessly solicitous that Ryou wanted to scream.

Most of his friends reacted with sympathy, which, although less than desired, was bearable. Jou had smiled and jerked his head at Seto, who Ryou knew treated Jou in much the same way (though, of course, to a lesser extent than Malik; after all, Seto could be made to listen to reason). Honda, who was in no way uninformed, had reacted the best of all of them, treating Ryou in the exact same way as he always had, though with more frequent remarks of 'bless you' than normal.

Yuugi reacted with amusement, which was intolerable.

"Is he doing any better?" Yuugi had asked Malik, accompanied by his wide-eyed, born-this-morning look. Malik had just deposited Ryou's books on his desk the first day (he looked as if he wanted to carry Ryou to his desk as well) with a steady stream of admonishments to 'not-work-too-hard' and to 'be-careful', all while the 'patient' was sneezing his head off. The two were soon discussing Ryou's health as if he wasn't there and in tones that suggested his imminent death, an attitude that continued for the remainder of the week. Ryou didn't fall for Yuugi's 'look' though. After the teacher had come in (and Malik had been forcibly 'persuaded' to take his normal seat), Ryou had stuck his tongue out at Yuugi, who simply laughed. Granted, his action was completely immature, but he felt that it was justified, simply because Yuugi _was_ intolerable. Of course, Ryou was of the opinion that, no matter what a friend had done for you in the past, if he egged on your significant other shamelessly, he deserved payback of some sort. Which was probably why Yuugi couldn't find his hair gel the week after, forcing him to come to school with his head somewhat 'disheveled.' (Ryou had his own version of 'the look', which he used to his advantage during the few times he judged to be ethical. Yuugi, with his comparative power, was one of the few people he used it on with no qualms whatsoever.)

So, the school week was mostly a mixture of good and bad, with friends mostly understanding; the teachers (and Yuugi) were mostly sarcastic (and amused, which was worse). The days spent at home, however, were another story.

~*~

"I told you to let me out of…Achoo…bed!" Ryou was getting seriously fed up. For the entire week, Malik had put him to bed the minute he got home from school over his arguments to the contrary. He then refused to allow him to leave the bed to do anything (except his homework; Malik had offered to do it for him, but after Ryou all but exploded, he gave up and brought Ryou his homework to do in bed). It was now Saturday night, and after an entire week of coddling, being fed, and absolute inactivity (unless you counted his verbal sparring matches), Ryou was ready to go ballistic. 

"You're not better yet, Ryou…"

"There was nothing wrong with me in the first place! It's spring! I get allergies! It's a fact of life!" Judging from Malik's expression, this rant was getting nowhere, the same way the previous rants (current count: seventy-four, including the 'breakfast' arguments over whether or not he needed to be fed) had. "Why do you not understand this? I've been trying to tell you for a week and you still won't listen…" Malik's face fell; Ryou had a flash of insight. "You're not really worried that I'll die, are you? You don't think that I'm sick." 

"No. No, not really." Malik answered with his head down. His hair drifted in front of his face, hiding his eyes.

"Then why do you keep coddling me? I'm a teenager; I can take care of myself. I practically have been for…"

"All your life." Shocked into stopping, Ryou folded back the blanket and got out of bed. For the first time since the week began, Malik made no move to stop him. He simply sat on the chair that stood close to the bed, shaking slightly. Ryou drew nearer and placed a hand on the other's shoulder. 

"Ne, Malik-kun? Daijoubu desu ka?" When he got no answer, he leaned down so that his head was on level with the other boy's. He pushed back Malik's hair, and found that he was crying. Well, not really crying. Ryou watched silently as one crystal drop after another cascaded down the other boy's face. The drops started to slow, and Ryou stood, his hands encircling the other in a loose hug. "What's wrong?"

"It's just…" Malik faltered, unable to voice his feelings. Hugging him more tightly, Ryou managed to coax the other boy off the chair and onto the bed; he was half sitting on the bed, half leaning on Ryou. "…It's like you needed someone to take care of you, for once, since so few people ever have…" 

And then Ryou understood. It was a long time before both boys had calmed enough to go to sleep. The remainder of the night was given to shared confidences as they rested in each other's arms.

~*~

The next morning, Malik woke first, blinking sleepily into the light pouring through the open blinds. Some instinct made him move his arms, causing him to become aware of the delicious bundle within them…

_'Ohayou, Ryou-kun.'_  He smiled down at the white-haired boy. _'My angel.'_

Carefully disengaging himself, he tiptoed downstairs unwillingly (they had both fallen asleep in their clothes), hoping that the boy would get some more sleep. After all, it was Sunday. There was no school to worry about. 

_'Maybe I should make him something extra?'_ Malik wondered as he started making breakfast.

When Ryou woke up, it was to find that the extra warmth beside him had disappeared. The spot on the bed was still warm, however, so he burrowed into it, inhaling the scent of strawberries. He heard soft footsteps on the stairs and smiled, knowing that Malik was returning. Ryou heard a small tap, like something being put down. He simply shifted again, trying to get comfortable.

"Wake up, sleepy-head!" Malik called, throwing a pillow at Ryou's prone form for good measure.

'This is definitely a change from being overprotective.' And, surprisingly, Ryou enjoyed it much more. 

"You have to eat breakfast you know! It's almost ten. Sleeping in late is bad for you."

True, Ryou was hungry, but he wanted sleep more. "Malik-kun! I want to sleep!" Attempting to pull the covers over his head to block out the light (and Malik), Ryou found that he couldn't; Malik had tucked them in too tightly. Giving up on that idea, he grabbed the pillow, turned on his stomach, and jammed it over his head to block out the light (and his boyfriend). He heard (or, rather, felt) Malik walk to the head of the bed and grab his pillow. Blinking into the light, he sat up and rubbed his eyes. When he opened them again, he was met with a strange vision. 

Malik was watching him concernedly. There was a breakfast tray (again) on the table beside him, but Ryou didn't notice. Malik was a sight. His hair was still about the same, though slightly messier than when he had last seen him. There were several streaks of flour on his face and more on the…apron. And now, looking more closely, his hair was covered in flour as well, though it was very hard to tell, considering that his base hair color was almost no different. Ryou had a feeling that he didn't really want to know, but he asked anyway. "Why are you wearing an apron, Malik-kun?" Surprised that he wasn't interrupted by another sneeze (the pollen count must have been lower), he continued. "And why are you covered in flour?" 

"I was cooking." He answered shortly, looking at his hands and twisting them in a way that showed Ryou that he didn't want to talk about it. Of course, considering what he had recently put Ryou through, he had no compunctions about probing deeper. A little payback was always acceptable. 

"And what were you cooking?" Ryou inquired with a tone of absolute innocence, which, Ryou being Ryou, he pulled off very well. "I can't think of anything for breakfast that would require such a vast amount of flour. Unless you were baking bread…"

Malik shook his apron a little bit, causing a cloud of flour to waft towards Ryou. Which made him sneeze. The instant he did so, Malik poured out a stream of apologies. "I forgot! Oh, I'm so sorry Ryou! I didn't mean to make it worse…" When Ryou looked at him irritably, he stepped back, suddenly remembering, and said, in a quiet voice, "I was trying to bake a cake. I thought it would make you feel better…"

Ryou took one look at the shame-faced expression on the boy's face and burst out laughing. He never could stay annoyed at Malik for long when he looked like that. A tinge of red stained Malik's cheeks, reminding Ryou of strawberry jam on toast, which, in turn, reminded him that he still hadn't eaten. "Heiki, Malik-kun. That was really very nice of you. Demo…" His stomach growled under the covers. 

Ever perceptive, Malik knew exactly what he wanted. "There's toast if you want some. Do you want strawberry or grape?" He brought the breakfast tray and set it on the bedside table. There was orange juice, the toast (with the crusts cut off neatly; Ryou didn't like them), two jars of jam, and a small bowl of apple-cinnamon-flavored oatmeal. Sitting down on the chair by the bed, he picked up a knife and the toast.

"I didn't need breakfast in bed, Malik-kun." 

Malik ignored that. "Strawberry?"

"Strawberry." Sighing, Ryou reached for the jam himself, but Malik took it from him.

Opening the jam, Malik started spreading the toast. "Do you want to eat by yourself? I could leave…" He trailed off, as if he wanted to stay, but would relent if Ryou really wanted him to leave. Which Ryou didn't.

"No, you can stay." Malik muttered something then, but Ryou couldn't hear him. The other boy refused to meet his eyes; he focused, instead, on the toast. "Nani?" He put his fingers under the other's chin and lifted up his head. "What did you say?"

"I said, 'Will you let me feed you this time?' I was just wondering; I didn't really mean it…" He repeated, but his expression said otherwise. 

"Why not?"

"…I mean, you probably feel bad enough already and I…what?" 

Ryou mock-glared at him. "Will you just stop? It's over and done with. Besides, I thought we got all our 'sorry's out of the way. " He got up from the bed and dragged another chair over to the side of the bed. "Of course you can feed me." Smiling as an idea struck him, Ryou picked up the bowl of oatmeal and a spoon from the tray. He dipped the spoon into the oatmeal and held it up to Malik's mouth. "But I get to feed you first."

~*~

I feel, like Malik, that I owe you all an apology for this completely pointless fic. I'm sure I've wasted your precious time, which could have been spent better reading another fic. However, if there are any comments, questions, criticisms, etc. please review.


End file.
